LadyK’s blog

 Just Something i wrote a few hours ago:

"dear hunter why have you come?"

"I'm filling orders of the throne"

she hesitated but she smiled,

"oh dear sir what happens now?"

with firm grip he grabbed her hand

she tried to flee but she couldn't

"my dear girl, i was sent to kill."

"Please sir!" the maiden plead

and as the knife drown to her neck

the hunter's hand started to shake

"Run, now!" he cried and yelled

"a wild boar's liver, I'll bring instead"

so she ran into the trees with fear

Running faster with every tear

back at the castle the mirror spoke

the queen's beauty it has evoked

"oh mirror, mirror on the wall

Who is the beauty of them all?"

"you are fair there's no doubt

but the fairest is still snow white"

"you must be wrong the girl is dead,

a hunter killed her with sharpest blade!"

"no mistake the girl ran free,

or should i say was let to flee"

the queen's anger was also fright

she called the hunter to her sight

"have you brought me the girl's heart?"

"yes my queen, i have" he roughed.

"you know the penalty of a lie!"

"yes my queen, but ask you why?

not so far in the forests' glade

the princess found a soften bed

inside a small house near the lake

she sound asleep away from hate

but while she was spared others were not

the queen demanded the hunters heart

The Helot Road  

''through the forest have i gone,

but Athenians found i none

on whose eyes i might approve

this flower's force in stirring love...''

A fair waif on the helot road.

no foe or sibyl but a dangerous load,

she daunts me with her eyes of gold,

but her hand is not mine to hold.

Suddenly i spot a spall of light.

i grab her hand  and pull her from sight.

a dainty sire passes to our right.

he is a tyrant from Athens might.

''Night and silence- who is here?

weeds of Athens he doth wear:

this is he, my master said,

despised the Athenian maid:

and here the maiden, sleeping sound,

on the dank and dirty ground.

pretty soul, the durst not lie

near this lack-love, this kill courtesy.''

For much i cannot hope but a bitter death on the Helot road. 

For much i cannot hope but sweet kiss of farewell on the Helot road.

 For the sword i have lost, for the lost i have wept

And for much i cannot hope.

My love is death, not eyes of gold.

Here, on this Helot road.

I’m falling apart again even though I gathered more than I had before

I’m searching for a face of someone, a hand to pull me over the black lines.

No one’s out there, no one’s in here. Nothing is everything in this void.

And I tried to avoid my feelings and thoughts but they didn’t shut at all.

I still can hear a voice but I cannot find the smile behind it.

Missing fragments, memories, songs and notes I wrote once.

Can I be my guidance? Can I lead myself to life again?

I can’t supply any answers nor provide the right questions.

Sorry is just a word. Sorrow is at heart only when we lose to loneliness or death.

I can’t regret nor apologize my acts, wishes, goals and deeds. I won’t…anymore.

Instead of talking to "it" to that thing we made up we should speak to ourselves.

We’re the only ones’ who know and feel the truth in our mind, on our skin.

Say goodbye only if we won’t meet again.

I despise goodbyes and farewells.

We will meet again so see you later.

16-12-07_2137

I do not like waking up in tears. I do not like waking up with full sonnets in my head, with a book of questions and answers about HOW come things are just as they are.

I care when someone thinks of me, because it means they took the time to try and understand and didn't just threw me away. I do not hate, how can you hate someone you don't have feelings for? hate is a state of LOVE, when your heart is in demise. I do not like BOYS who run after me like puppies, you can have my heart if i will agree giving it to you. what i DO NOT like the most is when those boys spit on me after they conquer me with everything they had. YES i too can fall into this hole of regrets, shame, lies, thrill and passion. but i won't let myself fall that easily, see i have this monster inside me, i call it FEAR. and i let it take over when I'm off guard. some can say I'm off guard all the time but how can i not be? people show me i have to guard myself all the time, i have to take control of my actions, i have to do what's right. but what is RIGHT? right can be different for each and every one of us.

I believe love comes twice , maybe 3 times if it didn't defeat you. the first time it has NO LIMITS, it is pure. but first love almost never lasts. it remains as star dust in our mind, memories of something we dared say was indeed love.

the second time is maturer, it's not as high as the first but it can satisfy almost equally if we let it.

i HAD them both. (i know I'm young and i can't deny i might say i was wrong one day). I've lost them both due to stupidity. but is that enough for it to perish? or maybe it wasn't that strong, it wasn't equal to the first one, i don't know which is right but i know it was my FAULT, letting it in and letting it go.

NOW, to another part of thoughts. A big question:

Am i suppose to look at myself with compassion because i have the power to forgive? (or is it something else, might be - the power to guard myself that much to the point i don't care?)

no one knows the answer, if someone say they do - then they're just as i am, clueless.

Remember that once I adored you? How can I do now?

We used to act as if the bed is softer than the ground.

Reckon we were friendlier when we weren’t even pals

Do the ghosts can hurt us as much as we hurt ourselves?

Importance is a wound where we bury our values

In heart, in mind, in an astral body we call soul.

How much can we hide while we speak? Years.

The fear from loneliness is breaking our goals.

Are we that obvious? Soon we will be clichés.

Was written March 13th, 2007.

Emptiness followed the first rain

Numb lips break with screams and walls quiver through a love scene.

Shedding marks like tears

Coloring the wrists blue

And the pain got smeared

On a place no one can rescue

Delinquent effect of sequence

Careless hands with morbid skin, now vacant eyes can slightly grin.

Slowly they shattered into fake glass

They drowned by their names inside the old books.

Heresy can minutely reclaim the best

Of childhood's fable in another’s occurring dream.

I wrote it two days ago.

What’s the use of having you?

When all you do is pin needles into my glorious mind, into my insight.

Where is the passion to fight?

Why did it all gone despite my willing to kill with thrill, willing to be near.

And I call you while I dance

Invite you into my house

And as you turn me down

I drink my money to drown

This fearful happiness

is an Imitative shadow of love

Peaceful lawless crime

is this natural gift I have

Let it take you and shape you,

Push you, shove you

Deep into my sleeping mind,

Deeper as I go numb.

So you won’t find your way out

and stray with me forever inside

I know I might be cruel to you

but I’m not the only one too.

Close down all the gates

Dear Adam cannot let out!

Shut down all the lights

He stay’s with me tonight!

Close down all the doors

Dear Adam crossed the line!

Shut down all the lights

He has to be mine!

My man is sticking around this time.

I wrote this song after a weird dream i had.

Strawberry lips,

Once you longed for her kiss.

She was such a pleasing beauty

Now what’s left is a crude bliss.

Coral eyes soaked in sorrow

The craving is a narrow lease

Moral deeds are now a marrow

Of her existence, your belief.

Ridiculous face in a mirror

I stare at her glassed form

Memorizing all the scars

On her lovely skin of rayon.

One day you decide to leave

And I stayed to watch her defeat

She emptied her heart off needs

Now she’s no longer a peer of greed.

However, wherever I travel or pass

I still can see her face made of glass

Whenever they ask to hear her tale

I reply instantly it’s an impossible task

Amethyst pupils are crayoned

A juvenile carol plays while

She carries my troubled mind

Into a pleasing catchy yarn.